Dealing with Mr two-night stand

Have you been a victim of this man yet? Simi Kuriakose tells you about why you’ve been prey to the ‘weekend fling’ and what went wrong


Downing drinks, grooving to songs, conversing with friends; side-by-side flirting with Mr Congenial who has looks that could help him win a fortune in a ‘Who’s the Hottest Man?’ contest and who’s busy making eye contact with you too. Before you know it, you’re all part of the same group where some friends are green with envy seeing this amazing chemistry brewing between you both and other friends are dreaming of you walking down the aisle towards this charmer. But the song that’s on both your mind is, Tonight’s gonna be a good night...

So, like expected, by the end of that night, you both had an amazing one-night stand, no strings attached whatsoever. But the very next day, this same guy calls you and asks you out. Again the next day, you both playback last night’s activities. The only difference being your thoughts, ie, Is this a start of something new? But before you know it, a day goes by then weeks pass, and still, no response from once-upon-a-time-Mr Congenial. And there you’d lie on your couch with a mug of beer and thoughts of being miserable, wondering, “What the heck went wrong?” We’ll make this simple. You fell for the hook, line and sinker of ‘the two-night stand’ (also known as the weekend fling.)

The two-night stand has become way too common among people, especially men, who aren’t typically interested in committing but can’t do without their share of fun. Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Mansi Hassan says, “Many clients of mine, especially women, have experienced this. It mostly happens when the guy’s emotional availability is zero.”

Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, Varkha Chulani, agrees. “This pattern is basically the reception of one’s desirability, where a guy judges the girl’s response to a one-night stand and on knowing how vulnerable she is, he decides to exploit her. Messages revealed through her body language give him food for thought to either back off or go for a two-night stand. It is a girl’s gullibility that makes the guy take a chance, and get lucky,” says she.

REASONS WHY HE DIDN’T CALL BACK AFTER THE SECOND TIME

  • He works on impulse and isn’t ready for long-term relationship. This could be his pattern

  • Hassan thinks when the guy feels the girl’s getting attached, he must retract emotionally

  • Chulani feels the second meeting must have displayed facets of your personality that didn’t appeal to him

  • He probably met someone else, who clicked better with him than you

WHAT YOUR POA SHOULD BE, BEFORE YOU’RE MISERABLE

  • Chulani says be clear. If it’s no strings attached, keep it at that without getting emotionally involved

  • Don’t blame yourself or him. Understand that it just wasn’t meant to be

  • Make most of a bad situation. Knowing his intentions after day two is better than knowing it after day 20

  • Don’t take it as a personal rejection. Let go, says Hassan

  • Give yourself time.

Source: Bombay Times

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