You the stimulus: As a Parent you need to be the stimulus and not the response. Usually parents respond and react to way the children behave, oblivious of the fact that they create the environment whether positive or negative for their children to act or react. And if the stimulus from parents is of possessiveness, directing and controlling, then the probability of child being insecure, negative and withdrawn is more.

Regulate moods: You may not be aware that your behavior with your child may be controlled by your moods. If you are in a good mood, you may want to talk to your child and be friendly, not realizing whether your child wants the same or not.

Let your child decide: Letting your child decide when s/he would want to speak to you rather than coaxing just because you wish to hear them. You ought to be there, for your child, not when you think you need to be there but when your child wants you the most. Therefore, be prepared to sacrifice other things because nothing is more important than your child. Encouraging your child to participate and take decisions not only increases his / her confidence but also helps him to be a good decision maker and analyzer in life.

‘What Theory’: Parents rightly start by directing children in early childhood about what to do and what not to do and what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’. However, as the child grows and matures, s/he develops the cognitive level of thinking and looks for logical explanations. This increases the abstract thinking of the child as s/he wants to know ‘what can happen if the suggestion is not followed’. As a parent you need to come out from your habit, and need to learn to understand, feel and think from your child’s point of view.

Pic: Hector Landaeta