Despite the fact that this is the age when health problems often kick in, it makes sense to me, mainly because of what goes on in our minds. After 50, I remember getting the distinct feeling I'd seen the film a few times before - but more importantly, I had the power, insight and skills to influence what happened in a way I'd never had before.

Life skills

By then most of us know how our immediate world works, how to overcome obstacles, deal with tricky people and, most importantly, how to keep negative feelings under wraps.

In my case, this meant learning patience and the powers of persuasion rather than flying off the handle. I still felt stress - it was just less terrifying once I'd developed tricks to help me calm down, make tough decisions and handle difficult situations.

I'd also learned that asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness as my foolish, younger self had thought - surely it makes perfect sense to pick the brain of someone who knows better? And by 50 most of us know our strengths and weaknesses well enough to judge when we need advice and when we can cope!

Then we're increasingly comfortable in our own skin. For years I'd forced myself to develop an outgoing persona - something that didn't come naturally - because I needed it for work. Then one day, I suddenly realised it was effortless. Maybe we just stop caring so much what people think because we've realised that beneath the surface we all have the same insecurities, no matter how well they're disguised.

What really matters

In our 20s it's easy to get hung up on having the perfect figure, shoes, sex life and career. These things do bring enjoyment but by our 50s, we've learned that it's people and relationships that give life most meaning. As a result we stop pressurising ourselves to live up to an ideal and spend our spare time doing things that make us truly happy.

We make better choices too

New relationships happen because we want them to, not because we need them for security. We're confident enough to know we can survive on our own and won't put up with bad treatment. We also know who's likely to make us happy - good companions win over sexual athletes.

And once the kids leave home, we're more likely to be able to indulge ourselves - whether that means hours in the garden or doing something you've always dreamed of. So if it's your birthday soon - cheer up. Life may be about to get much better!

Additional research: Madeleine Bailey

Pic: Dimitri Castrique