Pic used for representational purpose only

When they asked on the show how I felt about that, I was truthful and said something along the lines of, "To be honest, if he's going to try that, I would rather he went somewhere it was well policed and very clean than go to Magaluf for the weekend where the kids all get drunk and sleep with each other with no protection, so I haven't got a problem with it."

Well, I can't tell you the uproar it caused - I was on the lunchtime news, in every paper and had radio stations calling up for interviews every five minutes. Suddenly it was, "Coleen Nolan says she'll pay for her son to have sex!" I was criticised for having such a bad relationship with Shane that I was unable to talk to him about sex and would rather send him to a prostitute!

In fact, exactly the opposite was true. Shane and I were very close - we still are - and he'd already confided in me that he'd started having sex. I was simply trying not to be naive. Although all the publicity was awful at the time, I don't regret being outspoken now.

Talking to your teens

I think what the Amsterdam episode shows is that I do have a healthy, open relationship with my sons when it comes to discussing sex. Because sex was a taboo subject in my own family when I was growing up, I wanted my kids to feel comfortable talking to me about it. I wanted them to be prepared and to be safe. I started the sex talk quite early, not because I was condoning underage sex, but I didn't want to be naive and assume my boys wouldn't do it. So I said, "I hope you're not having sex, because it's illegal and it can be disappointing as well as lovely." But I also made sure they knew about contraception and the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy and of sexually transmitted infections.

You have to judge with your own teen when the time is right. With my boys it was when I started to think their friendships with girls were more than just crushes. Shane was 15 when we had the talk about when he might have sex. He was becoming obsessed with girls - every pop video he'd watch he'd say, "Oh, she's fit!" So we sat down and discussed it. I told him he needed to understand the importance of using a condom and, at the end of the chat, I said I'd like to know when he did it. A few months later, he came into the kitchen where I was doing the washing-up and told me he'd lost his virginity.

I had my back to him at the time and I wanted to slide down on to the floor and cry! But I kept my voice steady and before I could get the sentence out he said, "Yes, I did." He knew I was going to ask if he'd used a condom.

It's also important to teach them about boundaries when it comes to sex and that no means no, and that they should treat their partners with respect. Shane was going out with girls who were mad about him, then he'd dump them and turn up the next night with one of their mates. They'd be devastated. I told him he mustn't lead girls to think he wanted a relationship, then act like he didn't care. He behaved well after that.

Teens don't respond well to lectures, so I believe the best way to talk to them about sex is to have an ongoing dialogue at home, so they feel comfortable bringing things up with you and will confide in you if they have any problems. It worked for me and my boys, and I'll be doing the same thing with Ciara.

What to do when she says she's pregnant

Remember, she probably didn't plan it and she's probably terrified. Concentrate on reassuring her and trying to work out what she wants to do about the baby. She might not know how many weeks pregnant she is, so take her to the GP to get checked out and discuss her options. You might not agree with her decision, but you must put your personal feelings aside and support her.

I got pregnant accidentally when I was only 16 and I was terrified. I ended up telling nobody apart from my boyfriend and we went to a clinic in Harley Street together so I could have an abortion. It was heartbreaking. I wish I'd felt able to confide in someone, but my parents didn't know I was seeing anyone, let alone having sex. I felt incredibly ashamed and I didn't want to hurt them. So when Shane Junior had a scare a few years ago I made sure I was there for him. I suggested he bring her to the house and I told her I'd buy the test. She was frightened of telling her mum, but I reassured her that if it did turn out she was pregnant we'd go to see her mother together. It turned out that Shane's girlfriend wasn't pregnant. But it's hard not to go bananas when you're faced with a situation like this because it means your child has had unprotected sex. But you have to stay calm, otherwise they'll never come to you with a problem again. Let them know you're not happy - as a mum of two boys I'd always been clear that if they did get a girl pregnant, they would never walk away from the situation as long as I was alive. If there was a baby, they'd be part of its life.

I think it's vital to teach boys that sense of responsibility because they do get off lightly.

Let's talk about.. the birds and the bees

When it comes to discussing sex with younger kids - in the eight to 12 age group - let them take the lead and answer their questions when they arise. Think of it as being an ongoing process rather than one big scary sit-down talk. Here are some tips for nervous parents.

• Create an atmosphere at home where your child can ask about sex, for example, when a story about sex crops up on a TV soap. Use informal opportunities like these to address issues surrounding the subject.
• Discuss sex in the context of loving relationships and use events like the birth of a baby or a wedding to talk about responsibility to others.
• Be honest. Don't just say, "People have sex to make babies." Explain that people also do it because they enjoy it and it feels good.
• Be alert to puberty - although most girls get their first period between the ages of 13 and 15, some can get it as young as eight.
• As the mum of an eight-year-old girl this seems ridiculously young, but they need to know what to expect so they're not alarmed. The same goes for boys, who need to know about erections and wet dreams.
• Don't be embarrassed - if you're squirming with embarrassment talking to them about sex, they'll feel awkward about bringing it up with you later.
• Tell your children that sex is something that both people involved must want and that everyone has the right to say "no".

Source: Daily Mirror

Pic: Kevin Rohr