Most of all, I'm glad for our children. Worrying about the effect on the kids is the biggest guilt trip because they're the innocent parties who get caught in the fallout. One of our sons said he could deal with the split as long as we all got together as a family unit for dinners. We still do this a few times a year. When I asked another son, years later, how he'd felt during our divorce, he said, "Honestly? It wasn't that bad. It was clear you were still both friends and that's all I wanted."

That makes it sound easy - as matter-of-fact as a trip to the supermarket. Of course it's never that straightforward. I'm not pretending it wasn't painful, traumatic or emotionally devastating. By its very nature, divorce triggers a bereavement process. You're mourning the loss of something that was once wonderful.

That's why it's worth every effort to avoid the vicious, nasty wrangles so many couples put themselves through. Yes, you're hurt, you're angry - and maybe justifiably so, but to become embroiled in a war of attrition destroys all those good memories which should be treasured. Better by far to keep the ranting and raving private. That way you keep your dignity and, years later, feel good that you behaved in a way you're proud of.

The next step is to accept it's over so you can make plans for the future. If need be, get professional help - Dawn French admits both she and Lenny had therapy to help them find ways of dealing with their split. It clearly worked for them.

Carry on fighting and you'll keep the wounds open, sap your energy and ultimately stop yourself from moving on to better times and better relationships.

Source: Daily Mirror